It’s almost Thanksgiving. Which, in today’s culture, means that it’s almost Black Friday Eve. People will camp outside stores to make a mad dash for doorbuster sales and discounted prices to prepare for their holiday gift-giving traditions.
I posted a note on my Facebook and tagged my close family and friends, letting them know that they were exempt from giving me a gift this year. Here’s what my note said:
Attention friends and family, with Black Friday approaching I wanted to let you know that you’re off the hook for me this year. Consider yourself gift-exempt. I would rather have a nice phone call with you to catch up (if you’re far away) or make plans to spend time together (if you’re close) than get a gift.
I know that the holiday season is a time of giving, and you may feel strongly about getting me a gift. If you do feel compelled to give me something for the holidays, please remember that I’m vegan, I buy organic as often as possible, and I don’t use commercial bath or beauty products with unpronounceable chemicals in them. If you want to buy something for me, please buy something made in the USA or a Fair Trade Certified import that is not made of plastic. You could also make a charitable donation in my name to a worthy cause.
Or just ask me what I’m currently coveting, for example:
- -A HankyBook: http://hankybook.com/ (I like the pink lotus pattern especially)
- -White or sage green color cloth napkins (secondhand, seriously, shop at Goodwill, antique malls, and estate sales)
- -Measuring spoons (again with the secondhand stuff from Goodwill, etc.)
- -A nice (and smallish) bamboo cutting board, or bamboo cooking utensils
- -Really, just ask and I will come up with something I would really appreciate as a gift! But you are not obligated.
Now that I have given you my high-maintenance hippie Christmas list, I’m sure you’ll be very relieved to go read the first part again and remember that I am giving you gift-exempt status!
I love you all, and I wish you happy holidays 🙂
I thought this was a pretty appropriate note letting people know that, as we approach the Time of Shopping, they could leave me off their lists. This is my one-person passive protest against consumerism. Because really, Christmastime has become more about the gifts and the sales and the stuff than the love for a lot of people. I just want the love. I’ve always loved Christmas, and I remember spending days going through catalogs and circling the things I wanted. I don’t even remember what I asked for or received most years. These are the gifts I remember the most:
- A music box with Disney’s Aladdin and Jasmine on the flying carpet, some time around age 5 or 6. My dad wrote a very long note about how I was not to shake the box because it was fragile, and I thought it was a joke so I shook it anyway. It was fine, but I did lose it at some point through the years and I bought one on ebay a couple years ago because I missed it and it reminds me of my dad. It’s on my filing cabinet at work.
- A “Boxcar Children” book from my aunt, when I was around 5 or 6. I remember saying “Ew, I don’t like these books,” and my mom told me to be appreciative and give it a chance. I quickly consumed ALL THE BOXCAR CHILDREN BOOKS. I even “left a mystery” in the house when we moved out of it. It was not a good mystery, it was some pokemon cards stuffed into a hole in a closet wall. I am mildly ashamed of this.
- A stuffed animal seal, around age 11. It was donated by someone because we were part of an adopt-a-family program. I have donated gifts to families in need since then, always remembering and being thankful for those who gave me that seal.
- A glass chess set from my brother, age 11. It was gorgeous and wonderful.
- A laptop computer from both my parents when I started college (age 17). I saved the gift tag for years because it was the first “Love, Mom and Dad” gift I had seen since they divorced when I was seven.
- This year my mom is paying for my hotel stay in Spain as my Christmas gift, because she is awesome.
I remember how those gifts made me feel. All of these gifts were in tune with the things I loved and appreciated, like my favorite movie (Aladdin, at the time), a favorite hobby (reading), a game I had recently learned to love (chess), and something I needed for school (the computer). This year, mom’s picking up my hotel tab and I have no additional expectations for more gifts, because that gift of having a place to stay on my vacation is plenty, even without a tangible item. I’m minimizing tangible items, remember?
But putting parameters on gifts like this is a little inappropriate because it’s the thought that counts, right? My counter-argument to this is that all I want is the thought. I want my family and friends to think about me this season, to call me on the phone and catch up, to go out to lunch, or to just spend some time with me. My “parameters” for the gifts I would like are the same parameters I set when I’m shopping for myself — I do my best to buy local, sustainable, Fair Trade, and made in America products. I do not always succeed, but I make an effort and I am always thinking about what my dollars mean.
(My iPhone is staring at me like I’m a hypocrite right now. Are there any ethically made cell phones?)
All I ask is that, if someone is going to get me a gift (which they are in no way obligated to do), they get me something that resonates with my personal values and beliefs.
Are you taking any particular stands on this matter for the holidays?