Category: Relationships

8 Books to Help You Heal from Childhood Wounds and Estrangement

by Caitlin, posted in boundaries, Relationships, Uncategorized

Estrangement is a final boundary that many adult children choose to enforce with their parents after a lifetime of not being heard, valued, or respected. It's not a decision that people make lightly or easily — indeed, there are countless barriers to estrangement that come from a societal belief that family is an immutable, infallible bond that can't be broken or ignored. There is no morality in estrangement. Those who can cut off their parents aren't better people with better boundaries. Those who continue a relationship with parents who abused them aren't broken or codependent or foolish for wanting to keep their parents in their life.

When Art is Your Love Language

by Caitlin, posted in Emotions and stuff, mental health, Relationships

When I'm so happy and satisfied and moved and full of love about something or someone, I make art about it. I write poetry or love letters. I paint. I create little cartoon portraits on internet apps. As children and still as adults, long afternoons and evenings were spent with my brother and sister, reaching … Continue reading When Art is Your Love Language

The 8 Different Types of Love

by Caitlin, posted in Relationships

Whether you are attending a Galentine’s Day brunch, treating yourself to a night of self-care or spending the holiday with a special someone, Valentine’s Day is the perfect occasion for celebrating love. However, as many know, you don’t need romance to commemorate relationships and the love you have for someone. This February 14th, examine how … Continue reading The 8 Different Types of Love

Practicing Boundaries After Trauma

by Caitlin, posted in mental health, Relationships, self care

Boundaries take practice, especially when you have a history of trauma. Being a survivor of abuse can make the inner alarm bells malfunction -- they either don't go off at all because mistreatment has been normalized, or they go off at the slightest whiff of something that reminds you of a past traumatic experience. This … Continue reading Practicing Boundaries After Trauma

An Open Letter to the Person Who Isn’t Ready to Leave

by Caitlin, posted in Relationships

Do you suspect that there's something amiss in your relationship? Whether it's with a romantic partner or a friend or a family member, it doesn't matter. But something feels wrong and you think maybe if you had better boundaries or could stand up for yourself this wouldn't be happening. You might be wondering if you … Continue reading An Open Letter to the Person Who Isn’t Ready to Leave

Find your shortcuts to healthier boundaries and love

by Caitlin, posted in mental health, Relationships, self care

A couple weeks ago I attended a queer geek convention in Cleveland in its second year - Flaming River Con. On a complete whim, I messaged the admins of the con on Facebook with a week to go before the event and offered to host a workshop on figuring out how to communicate your boundaries … Continue reading Find your shortcuts to healthier boundaries and love

A breakup doesn’t mean you failed

by Caitlin, posted in mental health, Relationships, self care

When you're deeply committed to someone, the end of that relationship can be devastating. Whether it's a romantic relationship, friendship, or even removing a family member from your life -- breaking up is hard. But it doesn't mean you've failed at anything. I reject the notion that a relationship that doesn't last a lifetime is … Continue reading A breakup doesn’t mean you failed

There’s no timeline on healing or love

by Caitlin, posted in Health and Wellness, mental health, Relationships

When I turned 25, I made a five year plan. Become debt free and a mother by 30, in April 2018. I am now 31 and neither of those things happened. In fact, as 30 approached, I was facing a lot of other huge life circumstances. In August 2016 I got married and immediately started … Continue reading There’s no timeline on healing or love

How to ask for the love you need

by Caitlin, posted in Health and Wellness, mental health, Relationships, self care

I recently did something that I thought would be silly, or selfish, or outlandish. I wrote a manual on how to love me. It gives the basics about me and my background, includes a list of my favorite things, discusses how to best communicate with me, describes how I interact within each of the five … Continue reading How to ask for the love you need