How to Combat a Creative Scarcity Mindset

 A black notebook with red writing that says "Write Ideas" with two overlapping speech bubbles. Next to the notebook is a wooden pencil. The notebook and pencil are on top of a dark stained wooden surface with slats.
Image ID: A black notebook with red writing that says “Write Ideas” with two overlapping speech bubbles. Next to the notebook is a wooden pencil. The notebook and pencil are on top of a dark stained wooden surface with slats.
Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

My relationship with my creativity has had its ups and downs.

I’ve had periods where I barely keep track of all the ideas I have, so I make lists upon lists so I don’t forget. I’ve had times where I was afraid I would run out of ideas if I didn’t limit them to a reasonable, achievable number of posts per week. Most recently, I took roughly half a year off writing, burned out, depressed, and worried my creativity would never return.

Luckily, creativity is not a scarce resource. It’s all around, and those of us looking for inspiration to share ideas, art, or words can find it without needing to go too far.

Of course, health (physical and mental) is a determining factor in how well we can express our creative sides, and it’s normal to have ups and downs in productivity, motivation, and creative output.

But you will never, ever run out of creativity forever, even if you need to take a break and press pause for a while.

I am living proof of that.

What is a scarcity mindset?

A scarcity mindset means that our brains are focused on what we lack, rather than what we have or what we can work toward bringing into our lives.

When you’re worried about money scarcity, you focus more on the risks of spending rather than acting as if money is abundant and flowing regularly into your life.

Example: I just ordered a $40 planner when I would normally talk myself out of it because it’s “frivolous.”

When you’re worried about food scarcity, you count and stretch every morsel, denying yourself what would fill you up instead of knowing that you have plenty to eat.

Example: My eating disorder, whom I have named Carl, routinely tells me I shouldn’t eat the last of anything so I can save it for later, and then it goes bad in the fridge.

When you’re worried about your business failing, you’re more prone to say yes to discounts or resist raising your rates just to close a sale rather than focusing on attracting the clients who are able and enthusiastic about paying your full price.

Example: I once raised my freelance rates from $25 to $40 an hour, lost one client, and had two more clients accept the change and roll with it.

AN IMPORTANT CAVEAT:

Scarcity is REAL, and I don’t want to pretend that true wealth and security come from your state of mind when you’re facing actual scarcity of income, resources, food, etc.

We live in a society that requires money to live, and you can’t visualize yourself out of traumatic poverty with positive affirmations. Some people are truly in dire straits and need to get on their feet with the basics before they can begin to feel safe going for their big pie-in-the-sky dreams. 

When it comes to things that are finite, like food, money, space in your house, hours of the day, and gas in your car, it makes sense to manage them so that you don’t run out. That’s effective resource management, and it is a survival level need.

Once your survival needs are met, though, THEN the work on your scarcity beliefs about money, creativity, and more can begin. This work takes your focus toward self-actualizing goals that move you toward bigger long-term personal development.

Creativity is unlimited

Why is it that so many of us are afraid that leaning into our inspiration will leave us creatively broke and unable to come up with new ideas tomorrow if we spend them all today?

Your creative ideas aren’t birthday wishes. You can say them out loud! And more will always come.

What thoughts are holding you back from believing that you can achieve what you desire?

  • Making money means I’m a bad person
  • I feel guilty succeeding when I know my friends are struggling
  • Putting myself out there is too risky
  • I don’t have good ideas
  • I’m not good enough at my service/art/trade to charge more for it
  • I’ll run out of ideas of things to write about
  • I can only use an idea once, so it has to be perfect
  • Why bother putting myself out there if I’m not an expert?
  • Other people can do it better than I can

Do any of these apply to you? Look for evidence to the contrary and dig deep about how those beliefs got there in the first place. (We can work on this together, or comment and I’ll try to reply ASAP!)

Think about how many Spider-Man movies there are. Filmmakers just keep remaking them with new actors and different plots. But they keep getting made, and they keep making money. And then we get awesome movies like Into the Spider-Verse.

Your ideas can grow and develop into new iterations too!

Think about the person you want to be in a year, three years, five years — what does that version of you think about these beliefs holding you back? 

Go to the place where you already have everything you desire, and see if you’re still worried about running out of ideas, talent, or happy customers.

Visualize yourself creating your art, your course, your products to the point of being sold out, booked solid, and able to refer potential clients to others in your circle because you’re at capacity with the exact right clients for you!

When in doubt, visualize Future You and see what they have to say about how they got there. I think you’ll find that running out of ideas was never a problem.

Get clarity on your goals

I help clients retrain their brains, rethinking negative thoughts and mental blocks so they can access all their creative potential! Book a free clarity call to see if we’re right for each other.

What We Keep Messing Up About “SMART” Goals

A blue planner notebook that says “My Secret Plan to Rule the World” with a pink background. Photo by Ann H from Pexels.

Goals should be SMART, right? Specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound.

But a lot of us fail to pay attention to the achievable and relevant parts of the planning process. We stick to specific and time bound, and if life goes sideways or we get smacked with a global pandemic or an illness or family issues or a job loss, we think we failed at our goal just because we didn’t finish it in the time allotted.

Goals need room to breathe and adjust.

When a goal is no longer relevant or achievable in the way you first planned, going back to that goal and changing your method or timeline is not only “not failing,” but it’s actually setting you up for success.

Goals change to honor you where you are

When I turned 25, I made a five year plan. I wanted to be debt free, married, and a parent by 30.

I am 32, twice divorced, child free by choice (plot twist!), and still looking at about $30,000 of debt between my student loan and car.

And I am cool with this.

Chasing marriage-and-baby as the measurement of my success would still have me in an abusive marriage instead of nearly three years out and in the healthiest relationship of my life.

Chasing debt-free would have me still in a toxic workplace just because it paid well, rather than seeking work that fuels my passion AND talents, with time to recover from burnout and start my own business.

Last year, I started off 2020 with a pile of goals. Get two more book deals, run my online course four times, and launch a coaching practice. As I realized these goals weren’t achievable in one year while balancing my own mental and physical health needs, I revised the goals.

And then I quit my job in the middle of the year and took several months off to recover from burnout.

At that point, my goal was survival and recovery.

Now that I’ve gotten through a period of rest, I’m job seeking, I’m launching a new brand, and I have two coaching clients. It’s a humble beginning, but it’s a beginning that honors my boundaries and needs.

It is okay if you have to press pause. It is okay if you hit a life milestone and haven’t achieved what you thought you would when you looked at this time and place from the past. And it’s also okay for you to have some feelings about it and grieve the life you thought you’d have right now.

But put yourself in your five-years-ago shoes. Are you better off now? Don’t think about your goals or where you could be now if you had done something different. Just — are you better off today than five years ago, with regard to your own happiness and life satisfaction?

Are your relationships better? Are you a better communicator? Do you love yourself more? Are you happier with your mental and emotional health? Do you have hobbies you enjoy? Are you in love? Did you read a really great book or find a new musical artist that brings you joy?

Yes to any of these? Rock on. That’s awesome and I love that for you.

No to any of these? Okay, let’s make a goal to work on that for this year.

The new SMART goals

Next time you set goals, don’t just go down the acronym and make a quick 5-point goal. Think it through. Try these prompts.

S – Specific

What is your goal, specifically? Don’t put a timeframe here, that comes later. An example of a specific goal is “run my online course four times this year” and an even more specific goal would be “sell out my online course four times this year with 10 people per run.”

How confident are you that you can achieve this goal? What if you only get eight people but still run your course each time? Will you still feel successful? What if 12 people want to take it? Will you change the number of seats you offer?

Be specific but be open to a bit of flexibility.

M – Measurable

What is the measure of your success for your goal? Continuing the above example, success would be measured by running the course four times with ten people per run. If your goal is to get a job, your measurement could be a job offer with your desired salary and benefits, or it could be as simple as accepting a job offer. It’s up to you how specific your goal is and how you measure it.

In my last job, I was making $71,000 per year but I was miserable. Recently in an interview for a nonprofit, I said I would need to make at least $55,000 per year in order to take a full time role that met my financial needs. I did the math, and that’s how much I would need to pay my bills and save up for a house or other long-term financial goal.

If your goal is to graduate college, the measure of your success could be hitting all your graduation requirements for a degree. Or you could shoot for a specific GPA to help you get into a graduate program. Your goals can have layers (getting into grad school being a separate goal).

When setting the measures for success, I like to take a stretch goal approach. For instance, I want to grow my social media presence to 500 followers, but it would be really cool if I hit 1000. This way, 500 is my measurable goal, and 1000 is the next measure I would want to hit but it’s going to be fine (and still successful) if I don’t get all the way there.

(By the way, follow me on Instagram at @CaitlinFisherAuthor and @CriticalHitRecovery.)

A – Achievable

Take into account your abilities and means to achieve your goal the way you want to. If you want to go to college full-time but you also need a full-time job to keep a roof over your head, maybe part-time is the way to go because full-time isn’t achievable while also maintaining your mental health.

For me, running my course four times in a year wasn’t possible in 2020 because I didn’t have the mental bandwidth to develop, market, and run the course four times while also managing my stress. It wasn’t the right time for that goal. It didn’t mean the goal was bad, it just needed adjustment.

If your goal is to start a brand new business off the ground and make $100,000 in your first year, is that achievable? Maybe. Is it likely? Not really.

Adjust your goal to make sure it’s something you can feel good about working toward and you won’t be burning yourself out to achieve it at any cost. If you find yourself burning out, go back to your goal and rework it so that it is achievable.

R – Relevant

Does your goal make sense? Is it relevant to your long-term plans? I briefly considered buying a house this year but quickly realized that I’m open to relocating to another state in the next few years, so buying didn’t really make sense for me right now.

I also want a dog. Is that relevant to my long-term goals and my life right now? Finally, yes, I think it is. I am committed to remote work, so my “I’m not home enough for a dog” reason is no longer applicable, and I’ve wanted a dog for years now. (Is owning a dog a goal? It is now).

What could change the relevance of your goal? Would a change in your employment, relationship, or other aspect of your life change this goal? Make a list of what might impact it.

T – Time Bound

The trickiest aspect of goal setting is the timeline. Obviously a goal needs a target date for completion, or you won’t have any idea how to pace yourself and work toward it.

But this is where we get so hung up on our goals. We put all our eggs into the time-bound basket without checking back in on the rest, and then if something happens that derails a goal, we internalize it as a failure.

But the failure isn’t in you, it’s in approaching goals as a rigid and immovable force that can’t be shifted and adapted.

How to avoid the time-bound trap

I want you to look back on your life and think about all the amazing things you did, not get hung up on when you did them. Your life is full of achievements, strength, courage, and joy. These things don’t need to be timed or measured in order for them to have their full weight as positive experiences.

So here’s what I want you to do when you’re setting your goals:

  • Make a giant list of all the things you need to do to achieve your goal in your allotted time
  • Schedule regular check-ins to make sure your goals are still achievable and relevant for the time allotted
  • If not, adjust your measurement, your goal, or your timeline
  • Don’t beat yourself up about having to change your goal — your diligence and consistency will pay off, and your success is still a success even if it comes later than you planned

Work with me one on one

Setting goals is easy. Staying on top of them, and working through your brain’s bullshit, is not. I help my clients work toward their goals with accountability and mindset work (and some tough love if they’re lying to themselves about how achievable their big pile of goals is). Schedule a free 30-minute consult to see if we’d be a good fit for coaching!

How to Improve Your Boundaries After Trauma [VIDEO]

After a lifetime of not knowing how to enforce my boundaries (or even what they were in the first place), one of the toughest things I had to learn after leaving an abusive marriage was how I expected to be treated and how I communicated that to other people. 

Boundaries can feel scary when you’ve never had them before. In the past, maybe standing up for yourself felt dangerous. 

A New Approach to Boundaries

When I was starting a D&D campaign a few months ago, I realized I loved making the character more than I actually liked playing.

I could make my character strong in ways I aspired to be. Which is how I made this course – we treat your brain like a character, and you fill that character up with strengths and defenses and skills that help you rethink how you approach traumatic moments. 

So I turned this idea into a workshop that I taught at Midwinter Gaming Convention in Milwaukee this January, and spent the next couple months adapting it into a six week online coaching course to teach the framework to other people.

The video below introduces the Level Up framework we’ll use to build stronger boundaries, honor your strengths and inherent skills, and make a plan to continue improving for the future.

If you just want the basics on the course, the first half covers everything you need to know! The second half of the video has grounding techniques we use during the course in case the conversation gets heavy.

 

Six Weeks to Better Boundaries

Here’s the basics of the course and what you can expect from participating. 

  • Level Up provides a new way to look at trauma that interrupts the negative feedback loop in your brain
  • By the end of the course, you will have a concrete list of your resources for a “leveled up” approach to your own trauma, triggers, and boundaries
  • Level Up is a six week course, and you should expect to devote about 2-3 hours a week to lessons, assignments/journaling, and video calls
  • Video calls will be followed by a debrief to make sure any negative feelings are worked through and safely grounded
  • This is not a clinical therapy and you may want to work through what you learn here with your regular therapist

Want to get started? I still have a few reserved spots for the session starting April 13 at 50% off list price. Email me to reserve a spot!

Fear of Criticism Was Keeping Me from Working on My Goals

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Photo by Skyla Design on Unsplash

The phrase, “What people think of you is none of your business” was confusing when I first heard it as a kid. But I’ve since realized it means that people are going to have whatever opinions of you that they have, and you can’t stop them.

No matter what I do, I cannot control how people perceive me.

I spend a lot of energy making sure I don’t step on toes, upset people, or hurt people’s feelings. I want people to feel welcome and loved around me. In the past, this has been to my own detriment. I’d light myself on fire to keep someone else warm.

I make compassion a regular habit but I am also getting comfortable taking up some more space. My level of compassion has not changed, except that it now includes myself.

Perception is reality

Everything has to filter through your own issues before you can process it.

I had a boss who used to say, “Perception is reality.” I prefer to think that perception is a filter.

Everything that every person does or says is perceived uniquely by everyone around them. Because everything that every person does or says has to filter through your own issues before you can process it.

An example: Age gaps in relationships. They make me extremely uncomfortable. My abuser was 40 when he met and groomed me to be his victim at 23. Age gaps of ten or more years make me feel sick to my stomach, but it doesn’t mean I think every couple with an age gap is experiencing an abuse dynamic. That’s my experience, my discomfort, my issue. And it’s my boundary to enforce if I don’t want to be around couples with a big age gap because it’s a trauma trigger.

It doesn’t mean I hate you. It doesn’t mean I have to get over it any faster for your benefit, either.

Another example: Weight loss. I can’t deal with people’s before and after photos because they send me back to the mental place I was in when I was deep in my eating disorder. Do I think everyone who has lost weight has an eating disorder? No. Do I think they’re fatphobic? Yes, actually, but that’s a post for another time.

I have unfollowed social media accounts that focus on weight loss or diet culture. It doesn’t mean I hate you.

Fear of criticism

She draws things out of me that I’m too afraid to say without careful distillation into something palatable.

It’s been almost two years since I left an abusive marriage, and I have met myself all over again. I’m discovering things I didn’t know I liked to do, because I never tried. I have a pretty active social life. I’m investing in professional services to make myself a better writer. I’m putting myself out there and promoting my work.

And it’s terrifying.

I have a professional coach whose favorite refrain is “What else?” I tell her how I’m feeling about something, she replies, “Okay, what else? What’s behind that? What’s the thought?”

Like the scene in Dead Poets Society where Robin Williams forces Ethan Hawke into reciting a sudden poem, she draws things out of me that I’m too afraid to say without careful distillation into something palatable.

Last night I said to her, “I’m afraid if I get too big people will criticize me.”

So, it’s fear. I procrastinate, I hedge my bets, I don’t push far enough — because I am afraid to tip the scales in any one direction. I’m afraid to invite criticism.

In the same call, I laughed about a one star review someone left about my book. He hadn’t even read it and the review is nonsensical. I told her I wanted to frame it.

It’s so clear that the one star review is from someone who the book isn’t for. He’s not someone I am trying to reach.

A friend recently pointed out that there were some parts of my book where they thought I didn’t go far enough. I completely agree. I was over-concerned with being agreeable to every reader. A 2.0 version would have a lot of updates and would be bigger, longer, and a lot more divisive. It would invite criticism, but it would also invite more fervent support.

And that’s what I was missing.

I can’t stay quiet anymore

I need to be me so loudly that it turns the wrong people away and draws the right people closer.

I keep bumping into the fact that I try to smooth my edges to appeal to the masses. I censor myself because I’m too afraid of someone disagreeing with me. In conflict with a loved one, I soften my own pain so it doesn’t upset them.

I don’t have to be palatable. I don’t have to be perfectly portioned. I don’t have to be mass produceable.

I need to be me so loudly that it turns the wrong people away and draws the right people closer. And it’s going to suck, at first.

I’ve already lost friends for reasons I don’t understand. I regularly invite feedback and am willing to sit in the discomfort of talking through an issue, so the fact that people who were once close friends have simply written me off is hurtful, but it’s honestly none of my business. If they wanted me to make something right, they’d invite me to do so.

Just like I don’t hate the people I’ve had to take distance from, they probably don’t hate me either. Their perception of me is getting filtered through what they’ve been through and what they’re going through. And that’s okay, even though it stings.

Like my one-star reviewer, some people aren’t going to be the people I’m here to reach. But by turning myself up to 11 and not trying to be everyone’s cup of tea, I’ll attract the people I’m actually here to connect with.

I’m not for everyone, and not everyone is excited for me to change and grow into this new version of myself.

And it’s honestly none of my business.

Ready to make a change in your own life?

I’m taking one on one coach clients this year and I have a few spots open in February. Send in a coach inquiry and we’ll decide the best way for us to work together on a ninety day goal!

 

Get out of your own way and do something

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I’ve had a lot going on lately.

You know.

I left an abusive marriage, wrote a book, fell in love, moved in with him, broke up, settled back in Cleveland. The usual.

My office is still packed up in boxes, waiting for a wellspring of motivation to encourage me to put things on shelves and hang art and find a hot pink desk chair so I can have a place to write that isn’t propped against my bedroom wall in bed in my pajamas.

I’ve been writing, sporadically. I’ve been posting, occasionally. I’ve been working, a lot. Just not on this. Not on the things that set me on fire, make my heart pound, and make me pause for a break to say “Yes! This! Exactly!”

I love blogging. I love talking to you over this vast internet of so much happening in the world. I love the few minutes we share as you read what I have to say after I’ve had such a great time writing it.

And yet, the ideas tumble around in my brain like a pair of tennis shoes in the dryer.

Do a podcast. Teach a course. Write on a more consistent schedule. Work on your next book. Do more social media. Book speaking engagements. Do a book tour.

And I know I want to do all of these things, but it’s so hard to get started when everything is a great idea. That’s the trouble: I want to do it all, and I want to do it all well.

I get in my own way because perfectionism tells me I shouldn’t do anything if I can’t do it right.

And I am really not that great at Twitter.

So rather than figure out Twitter, I just don’t post anything on my social media. I am social media crickets right now, and I have a book out I need to be promoting and I have things I need to be saying for people who need to hear from me.

In the middle of last week, all these tennis shoulds bouncing around in my brain dryer, a post came across my Facebook feed that said:

That thing you’ve been indecisive about? The one (or 20!) things lingering in the back of your mind, taking up mental space, keeping you unconsciously stressed – what if you just decided NOW?

What if you decided and then implemented that decision? Right now. Today.

I was 100% called out by my friend Melanie, who is a professional coach. She’s amazing, and we met through some beautiful serendipity in 2015. She and I have worked together on and off through her various courses and opportunities to chat one on one about something I was working on.

I commented on the post:  I want to start a Patreon but I am not sure what levels and what rewards. I took tomorrow off as a mental health day. Perhaps I can launch a Patreon.

I’d had Patreon on my to-do list since at least 2017, so I’d been sitting on it for two years and never took action. I was paralyzed by the questions that prevented perfection: What do I have to offer that people would pay for? What if nobody signed up? What if?

I came back a few hours later with a Patreon link. I just made the damn thing. And I had two supporters within an hour.

I kicked imposter syndrome out of the way for two seconds and got something done.

I set up a Patreon page. 

And then I did something batshit amazing.

Today, I opened one of Melanie’s emails and saw a link to get on her calendar for a free one hour “clarity call” that promised to help me make a plan to get things moving. I just needed some guidance on what step to take next.

I scrolled through the week looking for a convenient time, and then realized I was putting it off for no reason. I booked a call tonight at 6:45pm. We talked until a little past 8:00 and I made the decision to book her for professional coaching for six months.

I am extremely privileged to be able to adjust my budget for professional coaching.

I completely acknowledge that not everyone can just rearrange their finances to prioritize paying a pro coach for a few months. It’s a huge deal, even to me. But the one simple action I took was setting up that Patreon page.

As soon as it was published, I felt great. Relieved. I can always tweak it later, it does not need to be absolutely 100% perfect at the time of launch. In fact, it never will be.

That feeling of elation carried over into the next day. I wrote some content for my Patreon page to give a preview of the patron exclusive content. I had a great weekend. I took a self care day Sunday and wrote all day. And that brings us to Monday, the day I signed up for a free call and decided to take the next right step — for me.

I took the next right step for me.

Me. This is what I need to hold myself accountable and advance my goals to their next level.

Because I know I will fall right back into the habit of being paralyzed by too many great ideas. And I also know that this notebook I used tonight to take notes during my call with Melanie is full of OLD notes that say “Get Melanie an outline by the end of the week” which I probably never did, since I never finished that project.

I had to take it to the next level.

What can you take to the next level?

Whether it’s your self care game, picking up one more client for your business, paying a bill you’ve been forgetting about, or asking for a raise at work, I want you to get out of your own way and just do ONE THING that’s been in the back of your mind bothering you for ages.

Tell me what it is in the comments. You can get it done!


Read more from me

If you dig my brand of encouragement, you might like my Patreon page, where supporters receive a weekly pep talk post! You can sign up at varying levels for different content access, starting at just $1 per month.

You can also support my work by purchasing my book, The Gaslighting of the Millennial Generation. I’d love for you to let me know what you think of the book, so please give it a read and leave a five star review on Amazon. If you’re morally opposed to Amazon, I have some other links here.

Today is Day One

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If you could not fail

What would you do if you had the time, money, and energy to do it? If you knew you could not fail?

  • Learn a new skill?
  • Spend more time with your kids?
  • Take a family vacation?
  • Take a vacation by yourself or with your spouse?
  • Write a book?
  • Lose 50 pounds?
  • Cut your hair really crazy?
  • Plant a garden?
  • Start a business?
  • Find the love of your life?
  • Have a baby (see above)?
  • Follow a dream?

What the hell is stopping you? Probably some of this:

  • Work
  • Debt
  • Finances
  • Lack of support from family & friends
  • Being too busy
  • Being tired or stressed out
  • Not believing in yourself
  • The timing is wrong
  • Not knowing how

I am here to tell you that none of that matters. I have learned new skills, lost 30 pounds, started writing a book, and started a business in the past year, despite having bills to pay, little to no energy some days, working unpredictable long hours at a job, and the little voice in my head telling me I’m not good enough.

Anything that is important to you means you make the time for it in your life. Anything that isn’t a true priority means you will find an excuse to explain why you can’t do it. All those promises of “some day” and “tomorrow” are empty promises (unless you legitimately have a planned out timeline and are taking steps to achieve those goals).

Waiting for Monday

So many people start working on new goals on a Monday. Or the first of the month. Or the first of the year.

So you’re telling me that you can only start improving your life a minimum of once and a maximum of 52 times per year? No. Not good enough. Stop waiting for Monday. TODAY is day one. I don’t care if it’s a Tuesday, or the 29th of the month, or if it’s January 5th. Start working on your dream TODAY.

My fitness journey

I ordered a fitness program online in June 2014. It arrived on a Thursday. I started that day. On a Thursday! I made Thursday “Day one” of this journey. I went into it knowing that with exercise and nutrition as a daily habit, I would thank myself in three months. I made two goals with the program: finish it, and lose 15 lbs. I did finish the 60 day program and went on to complete 4 more (ranging from 21 to 90 days in length) and am working on my 5th exercise program.

This is what works for me.

Maybe your fitness journey is deciding to get a gym membership, or do free workouts on YouTube, or go jogging, or subscribe to a fitness On Demand program. The important thing to remember is that small steps create big changes over time. If losing 50 pounds is important to you, you need to make it happen. One pound at a time. One workout at a time. One glass of water, serving of vegetables, or “no thanks” to a cookie at a time.

There’s never any time

Another trap on your way to making your dreams happen is the belief that you don’t have time. Here is a secret: The most successful people in the world have the exact same 24 hours that you have. What are you doing differently?

My business journey

I started freelance writing in December 2011 and have written for the same client since then. I had long been considering looking for a full time copywriting position at a marketing company for a while when it occurred to me that I could be my own boss and write for the clients I wanted to write for. With some technical support (and a ton of encouragement) from my boyfriend, I recently launched a business as a freelancer, working exclusively with companies that make the world a better place. Companies and business owners like organic farmers, local restaurant owners, organizations that support women and children, birth and maternity care professionals like midwives, doulas, and lactation consultants, and people who create all-natural products for homes and bodies.

It made sense. I am extremely passionate about these types of organizations and small businesses, and I am extremely passionate about content marketing and writing. It was clear what I had to do. But how on Earth could I start my own business while working full time (with a 1.5 hour round trip commute each day) and balancing another part time job on the side, all while trying to actually spend time with my friends and family? Building a business while working full time is HARD.

I had to find the time. You have to find the time. If this is your stumbling block and you don’t have the time for your dream, keep a journal for one week and track your time. Here are some places you might find it again:

  • In the morning before people get up (yes, you will need to get up early, it will be worth it)
  • At night after people go to sleep (go kiss your family goodnight and then get to work)
  • On your lunch break at your full time job (if you eat in 15 minutes, that’s 45 minutes for your dream)
  • On your commute (dictate notes or listen to professional development books or podcasts)
  • On the weekends (the harder you hustle now, the sooner you will have the weekends back)
  • When everyone else is watching television (I know, Arrow is really captivating, but this is your LIFE)
  • Whenever you find yourself on Facebook or Twitter (put down the phone, go work)
  • When you would normally be attending a club, social hour, or other event that is not as important as your goal (stay in touch with friends but be firm in your priorities)

Following your dreams is not about finding time. You only have 24 hours. You know where they are. You have to decide what you put into them. Remember that sleeping is important though.

I can’t afford that

Money trouble preventing you from achieving your dreams? Get your finances under control. If you have debts, pay them off. If you think you need a business loan, reconsider and learn to do it without debt. If you can’t afford a nice vacation, find your money in the same way you found your time: pay attention to where it goes.

Go to your online banking information and pull the last month of records. Make a list of all your spending – what did you spend on groceries? Entertainment? Household purchases? Transportation? Impulse buys? Toys? Gadgets? Snacks? Bills? Debt payments?

Today is the day you get a grip on your finances and set some realistic goals. How much debt do you have? Make a plan to pay it off – aggressively. Good things come to those who hustle! You are not going to become a millionaire or afford that Cancun trip by making minimum payments. And for the love of all that is holy, stop digging the hole. Cut up your cards and make a commitment to never take on more debt. Make a written budget for your household each month and stick to it! YOU are the boss of your money, not the other way around.

Manifesting what you desire

This is where it gets a little crazy, kids. You can get whatever you desire, want, or need from the universe simply through believing it can be done. Sounds insane, right?

My sister had a couple of friends she had loaned some money to, and they never paid her back. The total was about $300. She wasn’t angry about it but she did express that she wished she had that money to save up for her moving expenses. Over the next two nights at her serving job, she made crazy tips and was within a few dollars of the amount of the loan. She put that “$300” energy into the world and let it go, and it came back to her.

My friend and mentor Shari, who quit her full time job with barely a safety net so that she could achieve her dream of opening a wine store, has been flying through her project by the seat of her pants, never knowing where the next piece of the puzzle was going to fit in but somehow managing to get it all taken care of. She asked the universe for a $5000 investment and between her partner’s contribution and a very low interest personal loan from a friend she had that $5000 to complete the project within a week. (I know, debt bad, but this is how it worked out for her). She also got her permits put through their channels with pretty unprecedented turnaround times.

I had a big mental road block to getting down to business in my new freelance career and I put my finger on it. There was no space for me to work in the house. I was working on my couch, usually with the tv on in the background. I couldn’t focus. I needed a desk. I knew I could find an awesome desk for under fifty bucks on Craigslist, so I just scrolled the postings each day and kept an eye out. Suddenly I saw it. A beautiful hand-painted PURPLE desk. PURPLE!!! It was perfect for me. It was listed at $40 but they came down to $30 to get it out of their apartment before they moved. It’s all set up in our home office now and I have been putting crazy time into the business since then, waking up early to work and also working after dinner instead of watching tv all night.

The formula for manifesting is simple and hard at the same time:

decide what you want + tell the universe – worry

Yes, you have to let it go and quit worrying about it. The universe hates being pestered. You must take action (such as checking Craigslist for the desk I wanted), but to continually say every day “I WISH I COULD FIND A DESK” would be counter-productive. I would be too focused on not having the desk that I wouldn’t be able to manifest it into my life.

Alright, enough woo-woo for today. Let me know in the comments if this topic would interest you to learn more about, I would be happy to share more!

It’s not the right time

You could be hit by a bus tomorrow. Go for it!

Seriously though, I can relate to this one especially when it comes to having a baby. It seems a small miracle to be under 30 and not have started a family, but I have a lot I want to get done first. It really isn’t the right time. When I say this to my grandbaby-crazy father, he tells me there is never a right time to have a baby.

That may be true, but there can be a less not-right time and a more not-right time… right?

It’s not the right time for us because I want to have the option to stay home with the baby which I cannot do without either my business replacing my full-time income or my partner getting a pretty awesome paying job. Also, we have too much debt right now (in my opinion). Hence the $50,000 payoff plan for 2015. If we can pay all of that off, we will be down to my big student loan and our baseline operating expenses would be well able to take the hit of mama staying home with the baby, which is a huge priority for me.

I know it’s not the right time for us right now because we are prioritizing the future payoff over the desire to have a baby sooner.

But you, right there, yeah. You. Quit makin’ excuses. I wanna see you hustle. Make today DAY ONE.

Pick a topic

I talked about a lot of topics this week, and I want to go deeper and tell you guys more. Which of these things would you like to hear about next week? Let me know and let’s talk about it.